A sleep deprived rant on religion?

I have been thinking a lot lately about a subject that I have seen popping up more and more around the net. What is the subject? Well, the subject is something that a good number of people don't like to talk about but there are those that have shown up on sites like YouTube and have shared their opinions on religion and have told the viewers what they believe. Now, this isn't the reason why I've been thinking about religion. No; religion has been on my mind for quite some time and I have had some very good conversations on the topic and have shared what I believe and what I grew up being taught.

Religion; it's a very hard topic to talk about without stepping on somebody's toes in one way or another. People just love to get heated over it whether they believe or they don't. It doesn't matter their religion of choice. This subject is something that causes people to become completely asses to those around them and it could be due to a friend having a different view on it. But that isn't what this is about, this is about the fact that I have been questioning my religious label. The one thing I've known as truth about religion has become unclear and no, my believing in God has not changed. I still believe and more than likely always will but no longer am I sure that I can call myself a Christian.

For me, this is where things become unclear. I still believe in God in the same way I did when I was growing up, however; I disagree with some of what I have been told is in the bible. Of course I cannot say what is in the bible and what isn't as I've refused to read the book. My reasons behind this choice are not the reasons why I am questioning my being a Christian. No, my reasons for questioning whether or not I am a Christian come from the fact that I don't believe there is any one chosen religion.

It is difficult for me to honestly sit there and say "God only wants Christians in Heaven". How can that be the case when God is supposed to be all loving? He loves everybody equally, no matter their background and up bringing. Of course he may not love their actions but I believe that is more on a "good person"\"bad person" type of deal and not what their religious beliefs happen to be. Yes, I believe an atheist can make it into heaven if they've lived their life as a good person. Caring for others as well as themselves. Showing compassion to humanity as a whole.

That isn't the only thing that differs between myself and your typical Christians beliefs. Does this mean I'm not a Christian anymore? Maybe I am a hybrid mixture of all the religions of the world; of course that would require me to do some looking and find out more about the various religions. But I believe that there should be peace, love and happiness for all as long as you live your life with compassion in your heart for those around you.

Rant Part II

In Part I of this rant, we discussed something that really bugged me a group of people known as "Douche Knuckles" (and various other things) and I really focused on one certain "Cock Jockey", Dino Douche, and what he had done that had really gotten to me. But there is another "Ass Hat" that has been bugging me lately... I won't even give him a nickname because he's that much of a "Cunt Muffin"... Zack (as he's known on his MSN) or Ricky (as we've been informed his real name), started off his friendship with me by pissing off one of my friends. She was friends with him first, anyway, she brought him into a conversation with myself and another friend and we talked. We were giving this kid a chance to redeem himself but nope... he wanted to be a cock munching, fucknugget. Hell, I even talked to him one on one and gave him tips on how he could fix shit with her but he continued on being a dumb fuck and took it a step further by trying to make me look bad.

His bad. Because now, he's made himself enemy #1 in my books. Whenever I get a chance, I am going to fuck with him and make sure that he gets pissed off. I won't even go all out on him like I would normal people, no, I'll take it easy on him which will slowly eat away at him and he won't know what's me being honest or what's a joke. I am going to break him down... slowly. I will make him regret ever being a dick to one of my besties. She doesn't deserve it, especially not from this cock jockey.

I know I said I had two things to rant about in the last blog, two completely unrelated topics is what I hinted at or at least that's what I intended but the other thing fixed itself so... no need to bitch about it now. :P

Rant Part I

I haven't posted a blog in a while - not that anybody even reads my blogs - but I decided that since I can't sleep. Might as well. Right imaginary reader? Thoughts so. Anyway, I have had a few things on my mind as of late so I'll probably talk about each of them individually (ie: seperate blogs). Starting with Douche Knuckles... also known as Dick Lick, Cock Jockey, Ass hat and any number of things... there is a point in time, in every body's life, where they are going to encounter once such person. It is unavoidable. Recently, I encountered one such person. Thankfully, this encounter happened over the Internet and I never saw the ass hat in person. But it is still something that has been bugging me.

Why? That's probably what you're asking right now. Why do you care what some cock jockey thinks? The answer is simple: I don't. I know that goes against the fact that it's been on my mind since the encounter happened but I honestly don't care what they think -- well, I mostly don't care what they think. Something they said, not to me directly, has been bugging me. It has been eating away at me. Why? Because what they said could actually be true. They could have hit the nail on the head and it bugs me. It also bugs me that in every encounter since said Douche Knuckle, who will from hence forth be known as Dino Douche, has treated me with silence. He doesn't even have the backbone to tell me to fuck off... he just sits there in his little shroud of silence.

Anyway on to the point... in encounter one, as it will be known from today onward, there were things that were said. Jokes that were made. All in good fun... stuff making light of serious topics but still, all in good fun. Thinking that everybody in the chat had a sense of humor I didn't censor myself saying "Will somebody get offended?" and honestly, I don't care if people are offended by me. It just shows they take everything too seriously. Now, as the chat continued on and on my friend - the connection between Dino Douche and myself - requests that I be as weird as I can. Just talk about whatever, no matter how weird. So, being the friend that I am... I do it. More jokes are made, and then my calling card of sorts... Jew jokes. Well, it really only took one Jew joke... (One Jew Joke to Rule Them All, if you will) and the guy went running. Complaining about myself and one other person to 'The Connection'.

'The Connection' relayed the complaints to me and we all laughed but slowly, one comment made its way into my brain where it has been festering for the last couple of days. I tried to play it off like it was nothing in a following encounter but to be honest. It bugs me... it bugs me almost as much as the silence from the guy does. He said that I have no respect for other people and that I just say whatever I want to try and get a cheap laugh, so it may not have been in those words exactly but I'm not retarded... despite some questioning from a few people. I know what he was getting at and it didn't work, he didn't get a light shined on him that made him look better. If anything, 'The Connection' dislikes him even more now... but I digress. Those words about me have been eating away at me and have actually affected how I see myself... I've felt as though I have been subconsciously censoring myself.

Whether this is actually what is happening or not, I cannot say for sure but that's the way I see it. Of course, those around me have a clearer picture as they're not as bugged as the words of the fuckbucket as I am. Not sure why it's hitting me this hard... like a bunch to the gut, or an elbow to the groin...

To Be Continued in Rant Part II