Dolphin iz R Teh Devulz! pt. 2

In the last installment of “Dolphin iz R Teh Devulz!” I revealed some stuff that probably made a lot of you people think. It probably made you take a second to step back and think about Dolphins. To realize that Dolphins aren’t the cute and cuddly creatures that people make them out to be. Their fierce killing machines. They don’t care what gets in their way, babies, cripples, the mentally handicapped, it doesn’t matter… they’re going to do what they do. Kill.

Unlike the last installment, I am not going to use pictures to paint my… well, to paint my picture. Instead, I am going to use my words. I am going to tell you two major facts about Dolphins that I’ve learned and you can take them as you will.

Fact: Like a bat, dolphins use echolocation to navigate and hunt, bouncing high-pitched sounds off of objects, and listening for the echoes. Unlike a bat, however, Dolphins have figured out how to make this high-pitched sound cause cancer.

It’s true. Scientific studies have been done and the high-pitched sounds that Dolphins emit, if targeted at a human, can cause cancer. It’s an incurable, unknown, cancer. But it also seems to affect rats and other rodents.

Fact: When a whale or dolphin is found on a beach, this isn’t an accident. No… the dolphin and\or whale beached itself on purpose. It is just one attempt for them to test out their new techniques to try and survive outside of the water. Until they’ve figured that out they really pose no threats to humans.

Some of that is fact, however, even in the water Dolphins pose a threat. A threat ten times greater than we are for them. Yes, they get caught in our nets and probably end up dying because of it but they don’t have to worry about us coming to their domain and taking shit over. We want to make sure that the planet stays nice for all creatures but them… they want to fuck everybody and expand their empire out of the ocean. They want to enslave humans. It has been talked about for years upon years and yet, most people don’t believe.

Those are the people that are going to cost humanity its planet. We need to stand up now, to stand against those bottle nosed bastards. Our defenses need to be prepared now, not just the United States but every country. Everybody needs to prepare for this conflict between humans and the underwater menace.

With that, we end part two. Until next time…

Dolphins out, Peace in.

Ten Facts Q & A #2

I know that I’ve got a “Dolphin iz R Teh Devulz! pt. 2” blog to do but I figured that another Ten Facts would be awesome. This way, people can get to know me a bit better so they know where I am coming from with my blogs. It’ll help everybody out in the long run. ^_^

Questions provided by Your Mom.

10: “Who is the funniest person I know?”

Me.

9: “Who is the funniest person you know?”

Me.

8: “Are you wearing socks right now?”

Yes, and shoes too.

7: “Last person’s house you were in?”

Yours. ;)

6: “What do you want to know about the future?”

When I’ll marry Reina Tanaka. Oh yeah, not IF… but WHEN… *shifty eyes*

5: “Do you have a job?”

Does “being sexy” count as a job? If so, yes. If not, no.

4: “What is your least favorite color?”

What is your most favorite color? My least favorite is that color. ^_^

3: “Have you ever been to a different country?”

No, because Canada isn’t a country.

2: “If you could say one sentence to ANY celebrity, what would you say? And to who would you say it?”

I’d say “silly rabbit, trix are for kids.” and I’d say it to Ai Takahashi. Yeah, she wouldn’t get it either.

1: “Do you watch Cartoons?”

Yes, but only awesome ones. Like Ni Hao, Kai-Lan.

After this, I feel that we (or at least you know) each other (me) a little bit better. Now, you may get a little more out of blogs than you did before. Which is to be expected. But I’ve got to limit the amount of information I release in one sitting. Otherwise, your head may explode due to the over indulgence of awesome.

Oh, one last thing before I go…

You make my heart feel super happy! <3

Dolphin iz R Teh Devulz! pt. 1

I am sure by looking at the title you can guess what this blog is about. If not, holy fuck you’re dumb. This blog is about the ninjas of the deep, killers of the sea, the bottle nosed bastards… that’s right… Dolphins. You may see the word Dolphin and instantly be overwhelmed with joy. This has been implanted into your brain through their evil powers. They want you to believe that you can trust them, that you can get in the water with them, swim with them, and even have them pull you around the water. Fuck. They’ll even go as far as to perform tricks to get inside of your head.

Look at this picture. What do you see? To the average person, this picture looks harmless enough. A woman swimming with Dolphins but to the trained eye. To the trained eye this is a pack of wild animals ready to make the kill. Of course, they aren’t going to just kill her. No, they’re going to have their fun first. These “loving” creatures are going to rape and devour this woman until there is nothing left.

By now you’re probably thinking to yourself “this guy is crazy”, or “if this is true, why haven’t scientists said anything”, or something along the lines I just laid out. To be honest, they’re trying to keep the masses calm while finding a way to make the Dolphins work for us. But it’ll never work, no, they may play along at first but eventually… they’re going to attack. They’re going to come from the depths and rain down on us with their insanely power lazzee beams (laser weapons). This is how technologically advanced they are. In fact, here is a picture I found as proof… it is of a Dolphin attack some random man.

Look closely. See the Dolphin’s fin? That is the laser weapon that was used to attack this unsuspecting man that was out for a peaceful day on the water. He wasn’t doing anything to anybody, but ended up losing his right arm in the attack. Luckily, he survived but others have not been so lucky. It is estimated in official documents that 400,000 people are killed each day by Dolphin attacks.

Knowing what you know now… are Dolphins really all that cute? Are they really something that you want to swim next to? Are they something that you want to share this orb with? Honestly. Think on this for a while… and I’ll see you in the next installment.

 
Fucking “Ninjas of the Deep Blue” ready to rape and pillage.

To Be Continued in Part 2…

I'm boooooooooored...

It is 4:20 in the morning and I am wide awake. Yay! It sucks and it sucks bad, because my parents are going to want to get up before like 4 in the afternoon. This means that I am up for the entire fucking day and I have yet to even go to bed. Not by choice, mind you. Ugh... I've just not been tired. I doin't see the point in lying down like I am going to bed, when I'm not tired. It would be like going and sitting in the car when I'm not going anywhere. Pretty freakin' pointless, ne?

MSN? Nobody is online on MSN really, so I can't chat with people to entertain myself. Yahoo? I don't even have anybody added to my yahoo, so that's pretty pointless too. YouTube? I've been watching videos, inbetween the songs I'm listneing to on my iTunes. It's getting pretty boring. Then again, I've been watching some random videos. Not the stuff that I usually listen to... like MoMusu videos, and other music videos. Yeah, it could be boring because I've been getting a lack of Reina.

Alright, Morning Musume, this should keep me entertained for a good half hour. This one video, I mean. It's all good though, during this half hour of enjoying MoMusu, I can think of what to do next. ^_^

I am hoping that in the next half hour somebody will log onto MSN to entertain me. I didn't change anything once my friend "Kurisu" logged on because I'm lazy. Woo, some double entertainment is going on right now. MoMusu and my friend "Kurisu" on MSN. Even if he is only on until he's got to leave for school. One of the coolest dudes I know, this guy is. Honestly. It'd be cool if he lived closer to me, I'd force my sister on him. I'm kidding, I wouldn't force her. Wouldn't have to. :P I don't say that about many people either... most of the time I'm saying "I'll break some knee caps" or something equally as violent and uncharacteristic of me.

And he's off... lol, it was a fun... however long it was. Twenty minutes? Fifteen? Thirty? I don't even know. Nor do I care, lol. I just noticed, I use these abbreviated words way to freakin' much. LOL. ROFL. TWF? Wait, WFT. Damn it, W T F. There we go... O.o I seriously had trouble with that one. It's quicker to type that than it is to type "What the fun times?" or "Laughing Out Loud" but it gets annoying and it gets annoying quickly. Yet, I continue to type 'em. More than likely just out of habit. Since I've been typing them every day for years. Luckily, I haven't let them creep into other parts of my life... like actual writing. Or speech. It would suck if I said "L.O.L." instead of "Ha ha" y'know, as in a real laugh.

Woo, it's nearly 5am now... which means that it is only an hour until my dad gets up. Then about twenty or twenty five minutes after that I can have breakfast without having to do anyhting myself. Yayz! Unless of course, he decides to give my sister's cold cereal or something. That would suck... for me. But yeah, I think I am going to end this blog here... so I can find something else to do.

'Tis been real...

Sayonara, bitches. ^_^ V ~ Peace.

Ooo, I nearly forgot... I've got an episode of "Ni Hao Kai-Lan" saved on my DVR. Gonna go watch it. ^_^

Ten Facts Q & A...

10: "What's your real name?"

My real name is... Jeiku Aren Ebansu. For serious.

9: "How old are you?"

100 + 100 - 200 + 10 + 10 - 10 + 9, that's how old I am.

8: "Are you male or female?"

Yes.

7: "Do you like pie?"

Why yes, yes I do. I quite enjoy pie.

6: "If you could come up with three words that perfectly describe your personality, what would they be?"

Peace, Love and Ice Cream.

5: "Toasted or Untoasted?"

Toasted.

4: "If you could be granted one wish, what would you wish for?"

If I could be granted one wish, I would wish that my ultimate dream would come true.

3: "True or False?"

True.

2: "Dolphins are Evil, correct?"

Correct.

1: "If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?"

Doing this blog.

'Tis been real...

Sayonara, bitches. ^_^ V ~ Peace.

Movies and Shtuff...

I've been watching a lot of movies and stuff lately and figured that I'd talk about a few of them. No real specifics given on the movies, just my pointless ramblings about the movies I've watched and which ones I liked and stuff. Anyway, I watched Onechanbara: The Movie and Dragonball Evolution, prior to that I watch The Machine Girl. I've mentioned The Machine Girl in a previous post, so nothing much to say there. Other than the movie was fucking awesome. Really. It was like eating shit, if shit tasted like bacon. Many of you are going to look at that line and be like "WTF?" but trust, it's a good thing.

Let's start with the movie I watched first, k?

Onechanbara: The Movie

If you don't know what this movie is about just by the name then you, sir, mean nothing to me. You're below that of the helpless earth worm beneath my shoe. Anyway, the movie is about a chick that goes around slaying zombies in her bikini. Of course, there is more to the story then that but really that's all that matters. It's the only thing you really have to remember anyway. This movie is based off of a video game and you can certainly tell just by watching it. It kept the video game feel and that was nice. More often then not, movies based off of video games try and become "uber realistic" and end up being "epic fail".

The action in the movie is pretty fast paced and awesome. Becomes more awesome when the mian character removes her cape to show off her bikini and continues to use her epic sword skagility to slay her some zombie bitches. Just awesomeness. Pure awesomeness. Anyway, I loved the movie and suggest that you who read this find a way to obtain the movie and watch it.

The next movie on the list is...

Dragonball Evolution

I want to start off saying that before I watched this movie, I was pissed off. I went in with the mindset that I was going to hate it. It was going to be the worst movie ever created and that everybody that worked on it deserved to die a horrible cancer and aid related death. A dual combo of aids and cancer is what should happen to them. After about fifteen minutes or so of watching, I changed my mind. They deserved to be spared for the movie actually had something going for it. It lived fairly close to what I remembered about the show minus the obvious changes like... Goku being 18 rather than 12.

Now, a lot of people got mad about the changes and stuff and ended up hating the movie. A lot of people got mad about the fact that Goku was cast as a white guy but as far as I remember... in the Anime and stuff, Goku wasn't even human. Just sayin'. But yeah, I, personally, was surprised by the movie and ended up loving it. It could have been a whole lot better but really... not complaining.

It made the story seem a little different, which was okay. It gave me something new and gave other people that don't know what Dragonball even is a way to get into it. Bringing in a whole new generation of fans. And just think about this, you fans that got pissed about the movie, this movie is going to cause CN to bring the show back on in re-runs (obviously)... so, it ain't all bad.

Last but not least...

The Machine Girl

I will highlight the most epic parts about the movie:

Fairly attractive female Asian with Machine Gun arm (also has a chainsaw attachment toward the end of the movie); Drill Bra; Comedic Deaths; and much, much more. The movie is just all around awesomeness and you should watch it. ^_^

Anyway, tis been fun...

Sayonara, bitches. ^_^ V ~ Peace.

Jaketionary – A Work In Progress

I’ve always been fond of mixing words together. More so with taking somebody’s name and adding a word to it, such is the case with my nickname - “Jakexy” – which was given to me by my friend Chris during a little word math session. Anyway, on the forum that I frequent – Hell! Project – I started a topic, Word Math. Seeing as how the site\forum is a fan site for Hello! Project artists and former artists, we used these artists names and mixed with various other words to come up with new words. Better words. More awesomer words. Anyway… here is a totally awesome list of those words…

AIRI
Airitastic (Airi+Fantastic)
Airiful (Airi+Beautiful)
Airimazing (Airi+Amazing)
Airicredible (Airi+Incredible)
Airilock (Airi + Lock)

Ai Takahashi
Aiphone (I phone,  Ai + phone)

Arihara Kanna
Kanndy (Kanna + Candy)

Chinami
ChiRei (Chinami + Kirei) (Beautiful)

Chisato
Okkoi (Okai + Kakkoi) (Cool)

Eri
Eriday (Eri + Everyday or Erika)

Junjun
Juntastic (Junjun + Fantastic)
Junimum (Junjun + Minimum)
Juntractive (Junjun + Attractive)
Junjunbelievable (Junjun + Unbelievable)
Juntraction (Junjun + Attraction)

Koharu
Koharrible (Koharu + Horrible)
Kohannoying (Koharu + Annoying)

Linlin
Linlinimum (Linlin + Minimum)
Lintastic (Linlin + Fantastic)
Linindy (LinLin + Windy)
Linlinnium (Linlin + Millennium)

Maasa
Maasome (Maasa + Awesome)

Momo
Momolusional (Momo + Delusional)

REINA
Tanaka-ism
Reina-ist
Tanakapic (Tanaka + Epic)
Reinaverse (Reina + Verse)
Tanakadibly (Tanaka + Incredibly)
ImReinabile (Reina + impossible)
Reinalution (Reina + Revolution)
Reinalutionary (Reina + Revolutionary)
ReinaRider (Reina + Rider)
Reinatastic (Reina + Fantastic)
Reinalicious (Reina + Delicious)
Reinaful (Reina + Wonderful [or Beautiful])
Reinamazing (Reina + Amazing)
Reinool (Reina + Cool)
Reinarium (Reina + Delirium)
Reinarious (Reina + Delirious)
Reinexy (Reina + Sexy)
Reinorgeous (Reina + Gorgeous)
Reinorable (Reina + Honorable)
Reinetty (Reina + Pretty)
Reinificient (Reina + Magnificent)
Reinart (Reina + Smart)
Reinawesome (Reina + Awesome)
Reinawesomeness (Reina + Awesomeness)
Reinunny (Reina + Bunny)
Reinunnies (Reina + Bunnies)
Reinuts (Reina + Nuts)
Reinot (Reina + Hot)
Reinute (Reina + Cute)
Reinexcellent (Reina + Excellent)
Reinspiring (Reina + Inspiring)
Reinattraction (Reina + Attraction)
Reinattractive (Reina + Attractive)

Saki
Sagoi (Saki + Sugoi) (amazing)

Shimizu
Simpanze (Shimizu + Chimpanzee)

Sayumi
Sayuper (Sayumi + Super)
Sayute (Sayumi + Cute)
Sanitation (Sayumi + Sanitation)
Sayindy (Sayumi + Windy)

A totally awesome list of words to be used as the “starter words” for my Jaketionary. I hope to eventually have a site for it because that’d just be awesome but yeah, in the meantime, I’ll just keep this updated and posted in various places. Anyway, it’s been Reinexcellent…

Sayonara, bitches. ^_^ V ~ Peace.

The Machine Girl

I just got done watching one of the best movies I’ve seen in a while. Well, a month or so at the very least. It’s called “The Machine Girl” – all I knew about the movie before I watched was this: It’s in Japanese, it’s got a female lead character, she’s got a machine gun for her left arm. The information I could find on the movie was very little. Not sure if I was just having an off day with google and wiki or what, but yeah, I couldn’t find anything. But that didn’t matter as I already wanted to see it. And I mean, I wanted to see it bad.

After a while of searching around the net, I find it and get it. Watch it. My mind is blown. The special effects weren’t “uber amazing” or anything but they weren’t god awful. They were, however, comical but there are parts of the movie that lead me to believe the quality was exactly how it was meant to be by the writer\director. It’s a serious movie with a few “LOL” moments.

This isn’t meant to be a review of the movie, so I’ll stop talking about it now and leave you with this… “Find it, watch it, love it”.

What I really wanted to blog about is the fact that my copy of BoA’s US debut came in the mail today (yesterday, if you want to get all technical). It is amazing. No surprise there though. I mean, it’s BoA. She’s hawt like fiyah. What with her accent and everything… even if it isn’t as thick as I, personally, would like. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cute and everything and most people wouldn’t listen to her if her accent was too thick because they wouldn’t be able to understand it but I…

Well, I listen to music that is in Japanese and I don’t know Japanese. Hell – I listen to music in Korean, Russian, German and Mandarin and I know none of those languages either. So, not being able to understand it isn’t that big of a deal for me. Anyway, the songs are perfect for those that love to dance and even if you don’t, you can just sit and chill listening to ‘em.

From the opening track I Did It For Love (ft. Sean Garrett) all the way to the end, it is just one amazing song after another. And I mean it. I can’t wait to see how she follows this up…

The video (apparently, this is the official US version) for her first single - “Eat You Up”…

And now, my favorite version of the video. ^_^

Anyway… it’s been real.

Sayonara, bitches. ^_^ V ~ peace.