Dolphin iz R Teh Devulz! pt. 1

I am sure by looking at the title you can guess what this blog is about. If not, holy fuck you’re dumb. This blog is about the ninjas of the deep, killers of the sea, the bottle nosed bastards… that’s right… Dolphins. You may see the word Dolphin and instantly be overwhelmed with joy. This has been implanted into your brain through their evil powers. They want you to believe that you can trust them, that you can get in the water with them, swim with them, and even have them pull you around the water. Fuck. They’ll even go as far as to perform tricks to get inside of your head.

Look at this picture. What do you see? To the average person, this picture looks harmless enough. A woman swimming with Dolphins but to the trained eye. To the trained eye this is a pack of wild animals ready to make the kill. Of course, they aren’t going to just kill her. No, they’re going to have their fun first. These “loving” creatures are going to rape and devour this woman until there is nothing left.

By now you’re probably thinking to yourself “this guy is crazy”, or “if this is true, why haven’t scientists said anything”, or something along the lines I just laid out. To be honest, they’re trying to keep the masses calm while finding a way to make the Dolphins work for us. But it’ll never work, no, they may play along at first but eventually… they’re going to attack. They’re going to come from the depths and rain down on us with their insanely power lazzee beams (laser weapons). This is how technologically advanced they are. In fact, here is a picture I found as proof… it is of a Dolphin attack some random man.

Look closely. See the Dolphin’s fin? That is the laser weapon that was used to attack this unsuspecting man that was out for a peaceful day on the water. He wasn’t doing anything to anybody, but ended up losing his right arm in the attack. Luckily, he survived but others have not been so lucky. It is estimated in official documents that 400,000 people are killed each day by Dolphin attacks.

Knowing what you know now… are Dolphins really all that cute? Are they really something that you want to swim next to? Are they something that you want to share this orb with? Honestly. Think on this for a while… and I’ll see you in the next installment.

 
Fucking “Ninjas of the Deep Blue” ready to rape and pillage.

To Be Continued in Part 2…