www.wrassle.net

This is something I wrote for an online game I play called wrassle[dot]net. It’s an online text based roleplaying game in which players write about the lives of fictional wrestlers (or wrasslers, if you will)…

Mayon Naise (Pandorus Box) and his manager, Teri Yaki, sat in a small office somewhere away from people. This way nobody can post off of me and mess up whatever it is that I set up in this post. Oh yay! Anywho, there they sat as Teri read over the contract that Mayon had just signed with the CWA. It was his first step into the W[D]N and one that would not be taken lightly. The contract seemed to be the usual stuff through and through, then Teri saw the name signed at the bottom.

Teri: "You signed the contract as Pandorus Box? Really?"

Pandorus: "I thought it was funny." He said with a shrug.

Teri: "You do realize that you're more than likely going to have to wrestle under this name, right?"

Pandorus: "What?! Seriously?"

Teri: "Yes, Mayon. You're going to be stuck with this name for your entire career."

Pandorus: "But... but... other people have gone through name changes before."

Teri: "That's other people. So long as I am your manager, your name is going to be Pandorus Box."

Pandorus Box chuckles to himself, obviously nervous, for a moment before looking Teri Yaki in the eyes.

Pandorus: "And what makes you think I won't fire you right now?"

Teri: "And what good would that do you?"

Pandorus: "None." He says a sigh escapes him.

Teri leans back in her chair before flopping her legs up onto the desk. A slight smirk spread across her face, a chuckle escapes her lips before she begins to speak.

Teri: "You, a man who as of right now is unknown in appearance, are going to be wrestling under the name Pandorus Box. That is funny. Why didn't you come up with a better stage name? I mean, I get why you signed it as something other than your real name... Mayon Naise isn't exactly a fear enducing name. But neither is Pandorus Box."

Pandorus: "God, I have a feeling I am going to end up Full of Hate..."

Teri: "Hush your mouth boy, that gimmick is taken."

Pandorus: "By who?"

Teri: "GENKI."

Pandorus: "Who?"

Teri: "GENKI."

Pandorus: "Why are you yelling at me?"

Teri: "I'm not, his name is typed in all caps..."

Pandorus blinks a few times before shrugging.

Teri: "It's a puro thing."

Pandorus: "What now?"

Teri: "Puroresu..."

Pandorus: "... wha?"

Teri: "Japanese Professional Wrestling."

Pandorus: "Oh! You mean, like, with the hardcore women who I sometimes wank it to?"

Teri: "That's Joshi Puro and ew..."

Pandorus: "I see. So I'm spanking it to Joshy, that's sounds kind of gay..."

Teri: "... I would continue to explain this to you but really, I want you to be haunted by that last thought. Since, I shall be haunted by the thought of you holding..." Teri's glance shifts down a bit. "... that THING in your pants."

Pandorus: "But fine, if the Full of Hate gimmick is taken... I'll be the... Extreme Daredevil?"

Teri: "Taken."

Pandorus: "80's Kid? Kawaii Kid? RVD with one eye?"

Teri: "Taken. Taken, and taken."

Pandorus: "Who knew choosing a gimmick\nickname would be so difficult?" Pandorus says with a sigh. "I'm guessing this one is probably taken too, but I might as well say it. The Antichrist Superstar?"

Teri: "Did you even pay attention to this business at all before deciding to join it?"

Pandorus: "Yeah, why?"

Teri: "Because that's only the nickname of one of the biggest names in the business... Johnny Rude."

Pandorus: "Johnny who?"

Teri: "The One."

Pandorus: "I thought that was Matt McDervish?"

Teri: "Johnny Rude was The One prior to Matt McDervish."

Pandorus: "Ohhh... so he's not important anymore."

Teri: "No, he's still important."

Pandorus: "Not really. I mean, that would be like saying that Hank Hooligan is still important..."

Teri: "How are those two even close to the same? I mean, Hank Hooligan never won the One World Championship."

Pandorus: "Yeah, but..."

Teri: "But nothing you idiot. Hank Hooligan and Johnny Rude are NOT even close to comparable."

Pandorus: "You're right, Johnny Rude isn't good enough to lick the gum that's possibly stuck on the bottom of Hank Hooligan's shoe. Glad you straightened me out."

Teri shakes her head and lets out a sigh.